Empty by Ray LaMontagne

She lifts her skirt up to her knees
Walks through the garden rows with her bare feet, laughing
I never learned to count my blessings
I choose instead to dwell in my disasters

Walk on down the hill
Through the grass grown tall and brown
And still it's hard somehow to let go of my pain
On past the busted back
Of that old and rusted Cadillac
That sinks into this field collecting rain

Will I always feel this way
So empty, so estranged

Of these cutthroat busted sunsets
These cold and damp white mornings I have grown weary
If through my cracked and dusty dimestore lips
I spoke these words out loud would no one hear me

Lay your blouse across the chair
Let fall the flowers from your hair
And kiss me with that country mouth so plain
Outside the rain is tapping on the leaves
To me it sounds like they're applauding us
The quiet love we make

Will I always feel this way
So empty, so estranged

Well I looked my demons in the eye
Laid bare my chest said do your best destroy me
See I've been to hell and back so many times
I must admit you kinda bore me

There's a lot of things that can kill a man
There's a lot of ways to die
Yes and some already dead who walk beside you
There's a lot of things I don't understand
Why so many people lie
Well it's the hurt you hide that fuels the fires inside you



notus: no one has seen what we are like from the inside... thanks again, paul, for the music.

One of These Days by Doves

Say something
Anything will do my love
There's a girl on the 'phone
That's the girl who's never home

Say something good
There's a wilderness of hope
That's the girl, on the 'phone
That's the girl who's never home

And your friends they were so close

Say you will stay
Forgot what I came here for
Passing signs on the road
Telling me I'm far from home

Strangers out here
Myself I disappear
That's the killer on a call
That's the man who took it all

Your friends they were so close
One by one they didn't stay
Drift away like rolling sea
One by one they drift away
One of these days
One of these days

And your friends they were so close
One by one they didn't stay
Drift away like rolling seas
Day by day they drift away
And the people that were close
Are the ones you miss the most

One of these days I'll blow away
One of these days I'll blow away



notus: paul, sometimes i think all i wanted from you is that part of life, like those days walking around NYC streets, knowing that those moments will make me smile when they cross my mind.

Hey, Soul Sister by Train

Hey, hey, hey

Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains
I knew I wouldn't forget you, and so I went and let you blow my mind
Your sweet moonbeam, the smell of you in every single dream I dream
I knew when we collided, you're the one I have decided who's one of my kind

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do... tonight
Hey, hey, hey

Just in time, I'm so glad you have a one-track mind like me
You gave my life direction, a game show love connection we can't deny
I'm so obsessed, my heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest
I believe in you, like a virgin, you're Madonna, and I'm always gonna wanna blow your mind

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do... tonight

The way you can cut a rug, watching you's the only drug I need
You're so gangsta, I'm so thug, you're the only one I'm dreaming of
You see, I can be myself now finally, in fact there's nothing I can't be
I want the world to see you be with me

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do tonight,
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do... tonight
Hey, hey, hey


Hey, hey, hey

Tonight


notus: Ian, Imee, Josie and I were Le Baroque at Chijmes last night. uber-fun!

Snowden by Doves

I said man, can you help me out?
Bring me back to love
Bring me back to life

Oh why should I care?

I said how, could you keep me out?
Without a wish to share
So without a doubt
Oh then why should I care?

We have been warned
It's a classic sign
It's a wicked mind
With an axe to grind
When is it our, our turn?
So why should we care?

Yeah we have been warned
It's a classic sign
Why should we care?

If this is our last summer
Oh then why should we care?

If this could be our last summer
Then why should we care?


notus: my ego is piqued on but why should i care? this is an unnecessary emotion.

Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along


notus: why is it that i always want what i cannot have?

Seven Day Mile by The Frames

Your will changes everyday
It's a choice you gotta make
I can't help you if you want to
Down here nothing gets a chance
It's a threat that's real enough
We can burn this bridge or stay here
It's a breeze everlasting like time
Making so sure that
I can return just to see it from your side again

Always never seems to work
It's a word you never learned
I don't really see a way clear
It's a sea ever churning in tides
In the sureness of time
And our words will repeat now forever again
Well this might take a while to figure out
So don't you rush it
And hold your head up high right through the doubt
'Cause it's just a matter of time
You've been running so fast
It's the seven day mile
Has you torn in-between here and running away

I don't have a choice in this
It's a road I've come upon
You can join us if you want to

Always never seems to work
It's a word we never learned
Time will be the judge of all here
This might take a while to figure out now
So don't you rush it
And hold you're head up high
Right through the doubt now
'Cause its just a matter of time
You've been running so fast
It's the seven day mile
Has you torn in-between here and running away
It's line you've been wanting
It's your time
It's the seven day mile
Has you torn in-between here and never again
Never again

And down here nothing gets chance
It's a world too big for us
Time will be the judge of all here
This might take a while to figure out now
So don't you rush it
And hold you're head up high
Right through the doubt now
'Cause its just a matter of time
You've been running so fast
It's the seven day mile
Has you torn in-between yeah and never again
Never again



notus: when you asked me, "do u think it best if we didn't see each other?" i answered with another question, "do we need a sacrifice?" and today, we find ourselves tangled in my sheets in darkness. this is what happens when we share ourselves in pieces. we may live in stolen moments but we live by our choice.

Grey Room by Damien Rice

Well I've been here before
Sat on the floor in a grey grey room
Where I stay in all day
I don't eat, but I play with this grey grey food

Desolé, if someone is prayin' then I might break out,
Desolé, even if I scream I can't scream that loud

I'm all alone again
Crawling back home again
Stuck by the phone again

Well I've been here before
Sat on a floor in a grey grey mood
Where I stay up all night
And all that I write is a grey grey tune

So pray for me child, just for a while
That I might break out yeah
Pray for me child
Even a smile would do for now

'Cause I'm all alone again
Crawling back home again
Stuck by the phone again

Have I still got you to be my open door
Have I still got you to be my sandy shore
Have I still got you to cross my bridge in this storm
Have I still got you to keep me warm

If I squeeze my grape and I drink my wine
Coz if I squeeze my grape and I drink my wine
Oh coz nothing is lost, it's just frozen in frost,
And it's opening time, there's no-one in line

But I've still got me to be your open door,
I've still got me to be your sandy shore
I've still got me to cross your bridge in this storm
And I've still got me to keep you warm

Warmer than warm, yeah
Warmer than warm, yeah
Warmer than warm, yeah
Warmer than warm, yeah


notus: i looked at him sleeping. he looked so... so small. i marveled at how such a man can look so small, can be so fragile and so confused. so torn, so unsure, so unable to do the right thing even when he was doing the right thing.

Thinking About You by Radiohead

Been thinking about you, your record's a hit
Your eyes are on my wall, your teeth are over there
But I'm still no-one, and you're not a star
What do you care?

Been thinking about you, and there's no rest
Shit, I still love you, still see you in bed
But I'm playing with myself, and what do you care
When the other men are far, far better

All the things you got
All the things you need
Who bought you cigarettes and bribed the company
To come and see you, honey

I've been thinking about you, so how can you sleep
These people aren't your friends, they're paid to kiss your feet
But they don't know what I know, and why should you care
When I'm not there

Been thinking about you, and there's no rest
Shit, I still love you, still see you in bed
But I'm playing with myself, what do you care
When I'm not there

All the things you got, you'll never need
All the things you've got, I bled and I bleed to please you

Been thinking about you...



notus: this reminded me of my whirlwind romance. slow. fast. hard. soft. licking. sucking. biting. touching.