Here's Where The Story Ends by The Sundays

People I know, places I go
Make me feel tongue-tied
I can see how people look down
They're on the inside

Here's where the story ends

People I see, weary of me
Showing my good side
I can see how people look down
I'm on the outside
Here's where the story endsOoh, here's where the story ends

It's that little souvenir of a terrible year
Which makes my eyes feel sore
Oh, I never should have said, the books that you read
Were all I loved you for

It's that little souvenir of a terrible year
Which makes me wonder why
And it's the memories of your shed that make me turn red
Surprise, surprise, surprise

Crazy I know, places I go
Make me feel so tired
I can see how people look down
I'm on the outsideOh, here's where the story ends

Ooh, here's where the story ends

It's that little souvenir of a terrible year
Which makes my eyes feel sore
And who ever would've thought the books that you brought
Were all I loved you for

Oh, the Devil in me said, go down to the shed
I know where I belong
But the only thing I ever really wanted to say
Was wrong, was wrong, was wrong

It's that little souvenir of a colorful yearWhich makes me smile inside

So I cynically, cynically say, the world is that way
Surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise, surprise

Here's where the story ends
Ooh, here's where the story ends

notus: i feel so numb, so devoid of feeling.

Such Great Heights by The Postal Service

I am thinking it's a sign
That the freckles in our eyes
Are mirror images and when we kiss
They're perfectly aligned

And I have to speculate

That God himself did make us
Into corresponding shapes
Like puzzle pieces from the clay

And true it may seem like a stretch
But it's thoughts like this that catch
My troubled head when you're away
When I am missing you to death

When you are out there on the road
For several weeks of shows
And when you scan the radio
I hope this song will guide you home

They will see us waving from such great heights
Come down now, they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away
Come down now but we'll stay

I've tried my best to leave
This all on your machine
But the persistent beat
It sounded thin upon listening

And that frankly will not fly
You'll hear the shrillest highs
And lowest lows with the windows down
When this is guiding you home

They will see us waving from such great heights

Come down now, they'll say

But everything looks perfect from far away

Come down now but we'll stay

notus: you are the one.

Fair by Remy Zero

Hey, are you lonely?
Has summer gone so slowly?
We found the ground
And that damage was done
It's cold as you fade into the sun
Where'd you go? To me?

But you're alive, well it's only
Fallen frames, they told me
You stand out, it's so loud
And so what if it is?
It's cold as you face into the wind
Where'd it go tonight the sun shall see its light?

So what if you catch me, where would we land?
In somebody's life for taking his hands
Sing to me hope as she's thrown on the sand
All of our work is raided again, where to go?

And you were somehow
The rain this thing could allow
But it's all wrong, you're so strong
And this life and work
And choice took far too long
Where'd it go tonight the sun shall see its light

So what if you catch me, where would we land?
In somebody's life for taking his hands
Sing to me hope as she's thrown on the sand
All of our work is raided again

When I was sure you'd follow through
My world was turned to blue so thin
When you'd hide your songs would die
So I'd hide yours with mine
And all my words were bound to fail
I know you won't fail see, I can tell

notus: Tony, I always go back and forth when it comes down to us, but I trust you fully.

Don't You Worry Child by Swedish House Mafia

There was a time

I used to look into my father's eyes.

In a happy home

I was a king, I had a golden throne.

Those days are gone,

Now the memories are on the wall.

I hear the sounds

Of the places where I was born.

Upon a hill across a blue lake,

That's where I had my first heartbreak.

I still remember how it all changed.

My father said,

"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child.

See heaven's got a plan for you.

Don't you worry, don't you worry now."

Yeah!

"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child.

See heaven's got a plan for you.

Don't you worry, don't you worry now."

Yeah!

There was a time

I met a girl of a different kind.

We ruled the world,

I thought I'd never lose her out of sight.

We were so young, I think of her now and then.

I still hear the song that reminded me of my friend.

Upon a hill across the blue lake,

That's where I had my first heartbreak.

I still remember how it all changed.

My father said,

"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child.

See heaven's got a plan for you.

Don't you worry, don't you worry now."

Yeah!

Oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh!

See heaven's got a plan for you

[Live version repetitions:]

See heaven's got a plan for you

See heaven's got a plan for you

"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child.

See heaven's got a plan for you.

Don't you worry, don't you worry now."

Yeah!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!

Yeah!

notus: my Fathers' Day tribute to my dad

The Last Pale Light In The West by Ben Nichols

In my hands, I hold the ashes
In my veins, black pitch drums
In my chest, if I can catch this
In my way, the setting sun
Dark clouds gather 'round me
Due northwest, the soul is bound
And I will go on ahead, free
There's a light yet to be found

The last pale light in the west
The last pale light in the west

And I ask for no redemption
In this cold and barren place
Still I see the faint reflection
And so by it, I got my way

The last pale light in the west
The last pale light in the west

notes: esto es para ti, papa.

Better Off Now by Trent Dabbs

So easy to hurt 'n
So hard to forgive.
And there's no gettin' over
The people we've been
But it sounds like a question,
When we say this is it.

Won't you stay around?
Tell me that we're better off now.
Wait it out.
Tell me that we're better off now.
We're better off now.

From the first time we heard this
We were quick to believe.
That light on the surface
Was dark underneath.
You were enough to be nervous
But we just couldn't quit.

Stay around.
Tell me that we're bettter off now.
Wait it out.
Tell me that we're better off now.
We're better off, we're better off now.

But say that the sun might show up here tomorrow
And we could go back to that place
But say that the sun might show up here tomorrow
And we'll find a love we misplaced.

Just tell me that we're better off now.
Just tell me that we're better off now.
Just stay around.
Tell me that we're better off now.
We're better off now, better off now.


notus: it's been 3 years since i decided to put my career on hold. i waited it out in the hopes that something more suitable for me would come my way. no time is ever gonna be a good time to move on.

Barricades by Fyfe Dangerfield

When love is a crippled dream
When love is a crippled dream
That's where you'll find me
Saying I'm not afraid

And when love is a barricade
When love is a barricade
That's where I'll find you
Saying we're already made

I want to be near you all day
I want to be near you all day
I want to be near you all day
Don't go away

When love is a howling face
Trapped in a hollow place
I won't surrender
or give you up

So don't put up these barricades
We don't need barricades
We have each other
And that won't fade

I want to be near you all day
I want to be near you all day
I want to be near you all day
Don't go away

To the dark, to the smoke
To those downstairs
No fares

I want to be near you all day
I want to be near you all day



notus: this song makes me wonder how it's like to be with anthony.

Everything Trying by Damien Jurado

I'd call you now to tell you I'm thinking of you
But it does me no good when the phone is just blocking my view
And I would sail back to you
And I would sail back to you

And I would come back and admit that it wasn't your fault
But I'm tired and unwilling to be the only one who was wrong
And I would sail back to you
And I would sail back to you
And I would sail back to you

I'll be sailing on your deep blue eyes...


notus: i'm in love with your sadness.

Big Empty by Stone Temple Pilots

drivin' faster in my car
falling farther from just what we are
smoke a cigarette and lie some more
these conversations kill
falling faster in my car

time to take her home
her dizzy head is conscience-laden
time to take a ride
it leaves today no conversation
time to take her home
her dizzy head is conscience-laden
time to wait too long
to wait too long
these conversations kill

too much walkin', shoes worn thin
too much trippin' and my soul's worn thin
time to catch a ride
it leaves today, her name is what it means
too much walkin', shoe's worn thin


notus: rockin' and rollin' with STP at the Indoor Stadium brings back a lot of childhood memories. once a rocker, always a rocker!!!

Smile by David Gray

I'm falling by the wayside
I'm sinking with the sun
Everything I do
Is wrong wrong wrong
Gazing at the billboards
Staring down the broken lines

Sleeping on the backseat
I could not believe
You were right up there beside me
Tugging at my sleeve
And putting up your lipstick
Just like you did a thousand times
And something in your eyes that makes me smile
Oh yeah
Something in your eyes that makes me smile
Oh yeah
I wake up in the darkness
Its more than I can stand
I'm reaching out to touch it
It breaks up in my hand
I've never known the headlights
To shine so cold

I'm waiting for the morning
To steal over the hills
I'm urging for the road
To speed these wheels
I'm watching for the sunrise
Turning all the teardrops gold

Cause something in your eyes that makes me smile
Oh yeah
Something in your eyes that makes me smile
Oh yeah
And something in your eyes that makes me smile
Oh yeah
Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah



notus: oh, paul, you have your ways that leaves me smiling.

Sarah by Ray LaMontagne

When we first met we were kids, we were wild, we were insects
And after a while, i grew coarse, i grew cold, i grew reckless
I hold this memory, hold you so close to me, whispered were we always happy
Lately it feels like i'm asleep and i just can't wake up
Pacing the floor, want to call, but i can't so i hang up
Sharing a secret on the train with a lady who's crying has ruined her make up

Now i see just how young, how scared i was
Eyes closed tight, throwing punch after punch at the world
Sarah, is it ever gonna be the same
Sarah, is it ever gonna be the same

Said goodbye to all the places i used to go
Said goodbye to all the faces i used to know
Nothing lasts forever
I guess by now, i should know
I should know

There ain't a thing i can say that will ever repair
And you, who had so much advice, and yet couldn't share
Maybe someday, we will look back at this and we'll smile, but right now i can't bear

Now i see just how young, how scared i was
Eyes closed tight, throwing punch after punch at the world
Sarah, is it ever gonna be the same
Sarah, is it ever gonna be the same


notus: and this, for you paul.

Empty by Ray LaMontagne

She lifts her skirt up to her knees
Walks through the garden rows with her bare feet, laughing
I never learned to count my blessings
I choose instead to dwell in my disasters

Walk on down the hill
Through the grass grown tall and brown
And still it's hard somehow to let go of my pain
On past the busted back
Of that old and rusted Cadillac
That sinks into this field collecting rain

Will I always feel this way
So empty, so estranged

Of these cutthroat busted sunsets
These cold and damp white mornings I have grown weary
If through my cracked and dusty dimestore lips
I spoke these words out loud would no one hear me

Lay your blouse across the chair
Let fall the flowers from your hair
And kiss me with that country mouth so plain
Outside the rain is tapping on the leaves
To me it sounds like they're applauding us
The quiet love we make

Will I always feel this way
So empty, so estranged

Well I looked my demons in the eye
Laid bare my chest said do your best destroy me
See I've been to hell and back so many times
I must admit you kinda bore me

There's a lot of things that can kill a man
There's a lot of ways to die
Yes and some already dead who walk beside you
There's a lot of things I don't understand
Why so many people lie
Well it's the hurt you hide that fuels the fires inside you



notus: no one has seen what we are like from the inside... thanks again, paul, for the music.

One of These Days by Doves

Say something
Anything will do my love
There's a girl on the 'phone
That's the girl who's never home

Say something good
There's a wilderness of hope
That's the girl, on the 'phone
That's the girl who's never home

And your friends they were so close

Say you will stay
Forgot what I came here for
Passing signs on the road
Telling me I'm far from home

Strangers out here
Myself I disappear
That's the killer on a call
That's the man who took it all

Your friends they were so close
One by one they didn't stay
Drift away like rolling sea
One by one they drift away
One of these days
One of these days

And your friends they were so close
One by one they didn't stay
Drift away like rolling seas
Day by day they drift away
And the people that were close
Are the ones you miss the most

One of these days I'll blow away
One of these days I'll blow away



notus: paul, sometimes i think all i wanted from you is that part of life, like those days walking around NYC streets, knowing that those moments will make me smile when they cross my mind.

Hey, Soul Sister by Train

Hey, hey, hey

Your lipstick stains on the front lobe of my left side brains
I knew I wouldn't forget you, and so I went and let you blow my mind
Your sweet moonbeam, the smell of you in every single dream I dream
I knew when we collided, you're the one I have decided who's one of my kind

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do... tonight
Hey, hey, hey

Just in time, I'm so glad you have a one-track mind like me
You gave my life direction, a game show love connection we can't deny
I'm so obsessed, my heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest
I believe in you, like a virgin, you're Madonna, and I'm always gonna wanna blow your mind

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do... tonight

The way you can cut a rug, watching you's the only drug I need
You're so gangsta, I'm so thug, you're the only one I'm dreaming of
You see, I can be myself now finally, in fact there's nothing I can't be
I want the world to see you be with me

Hey soul sister, ain't that Mr. Mister mister on the radio, stereo, the way you move ain't fair, you know!
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do tonight,
Hey soul sister, I don't want to miss a single thing you do... tonight
Hey, hey, hey


Hey, hey, hey

Tonight


notus: Ian, Imee, Josie and I were Le Baroque at Chijmes last night. uber-fun!

Snowden by Doves

I said man, can you help me out?
Bring me back to love
Bring me back to life

Oh why should I care?

I said how, could you keep me out?
Without a wish to share
So without a doubt
Oh then why should I care?

We have been warned
It's a classic sign
It's a wicked mind
With an axe to grind
When is it our, our turn?
So why should we care?

Yeah we have been warned
It's a classic sign
Why should we care?

If this is our last summer
Oh then why should we care?

If this could be our last summer
Then why should we care?


notus: my ego is piqued on but why should i care? this is an unnecessary emotion.

Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along


notus: why is it that i always want what i cannot have?

Seven Day Mile by The Frames

Your will changes everyday
It's a choice you gotta make
I can't help you if you want to
Down here nothing gets a chance
It's a threat that's real enough
We can burn this bridge or stay here
It's a breeze everlasting like time
Making so sure that
I can return just to see it from your side again

Always never seems to work
It's a word you never learned
I don't really see a way clear
It's a sea ever churning in tides
In the sureness of time
And our words will repeat now forever again
Well this might take a while to figure out
So don't you rush it
And hold your head up high right through the doubt
'Cause it's just a matter of time
You've been running so fast
It's the seven day mile
Has you torn in-between here and running away

I don't have a choice in this
It's a road I've come upon
You can join us if you want to

Always never seems to work
It's a word we never learned
Time will be the judge of all here
This might take a while to figure out now
So don't you rush it
And hold you're head up high
Right through the doubt now
'Cause its just a matter of time
You've been running so fast
It's the seven day mile
Has you torn in-between here and running away
It's line you've been wanting
It's your time
It's the seven day mile
Has you torn in-between here and never again
Never again

And down here nothing gets chance
It's a world too big for us
Time will be the judge of all here
This might take a while to figure out now
So don't you rush it
And hold you're head up high
Right through the doubt now
'Cause its just a matter of time
You've been running so fast
It's the seven day mile
Has you torn in-between yeah and never again
Never again



notus: when you asked me, "do u think it best if we didn't see each other?" i answered with another question, "do we need a sacrifice?" and today, we find ourselves tangled in my sheets in darkness. this is what happens when we share ourselves in pieces. we may live in stolen moments but we live by our choice.

Grey Room by Damien Rice

Well I've been here before
Sat on the floor in a grey grey room
Where I stay in all day
I don't eat, but I play with this grey grey food

Desolé, if someone is prayin' then I might break out,
Desolé, even if I scream I can't scream that loud

I'm all alone again
Crawling back home again
Stuck by the phone again

Well I've been here before
Sat on a floor in a grey grey mood
Where I stay up all night
And all that I write is a grey grey tune

So pray for me child, just for a while
That I might break out yeah
Pray for me child
Even a smile would do for now

'Cause I'm all alone again
Crawling back home again
Stuck by the phone again

Have I still got you to be my open door
Have I still got you to be my sandy shore
Have I still got you to cross my bridge in this storm
Have I still got you to keep me warm

If I squeeze my grape and I drink my wine
Coz if I squeeze my grape and I drink my wine
Oh coz nothing is lost, it's just frozen in frost,
And it's opening time, there's no-one in line

But I've still got me to be your open door,
I've still got me to be your sandy shore
I've still got me to cross your bridge in this storm
And I've still got me to keep you warm

Warmer than warm, yeah
Warmer than warm, yeah
Warmer than warm, yeah
Warmer than warm, yeah


notus: i looked at him sleeping. he looked so... so small. i marveled at how such a man can look so small, can be so fragile and so confused. so torn, so unsure, so unable to do the right thing even when he was doing the right thing.

Thinking About You by Radiohead

Been thinking about you, your record's a hit
Your eyes are on my wall, your teeth are over there
But I'm still no-one, and you're not a star
What do you care?

Been thinking about you, and there's no rest
Shit, I still love you, still see you in bed
But I'm playing with myself, and what do you care
When the other men are far, far better

All the things you got
All the things you need
Who bought you cigarettes and bribed the company
To come and see you, honey

I've been thinking about you, so how can you sleep
These people aren't your friends, they're paid to kiss your feet
But they don't know what I know, and why should you care
When I'm not there

Been thinking about you, and there's no rest
Shit, I still love you, still see you in bed
But I'm playing with myself, what do you care
When I'm not there

All the things you got, you'll never need
All the things you've got, I bled and I bleed to please you

Been thinking about you...



notus: this reminded me of my whirlwind romance. slow. fast. hard. soft. licking. sucking. biting. touching.

Ready for a Fall by PJ Olsson

You sit there in my shadows
And you call it your relief
Don't be the one with bad eyes for
The things that I could see
(Don't give me that)

The darkness has no armor
Need protection from the air
High hopes through time passing
When I see I want you there

I can't believe
You're the one for me
If it was this easy to find you
I should be ready for a fall
I should be ready for a fall

Now my wonders rally
Around the person I once was
Like a bird that I've been helping
Hope you're healed and strong
You never know when you might have to fly

Where will you go after me
Where will you go after I set you free
And I don't know you from a page in my book
Though I should
Though I should

Where will you go after me
Where will you go after I set you free
And I don't know you from a page in my book
Though I should


notus: AC, for the past 11 months and counting.